Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Should Auld Acquaintance Be Forgot: New Years Eves Gone By

2000 (because I don't remember any New Years prior to this one):  I am laying on a sleeping bag in our living room, eating popcorn and Junior Mints.  I keep taking sips of Mountain Dew and getting annoyed at the way the Junior Mints cancel out the taste of, like, anything else.  My mom's antique noisemakers lay beside me, ready to be put into use at the stroke of midnight.  We are watching the annual New Year's festivities on television, with quick switches to the news channel at commercials.  I am confused by the news coverage of people stocking up on water bottles and batteries - it's just another year to me.  The excitement doesn't faze me in the least, and I am asleep before eleven, Dick Clark's voice in the background.

2001:  I am excited for my best friend's family's New Year's Eve party, held mostly for adults who attend their church.  I have high hopes for a certain boy to be there, who I met through a random visit to said church.  Unfortunately, it isn't meant to be, since that boy is skiing with his family in Colorado, which I find to be inexplicably hilarious.  Instead, I spend the night dancing to the Grease soundtrack and Shania Twain in my friend's basement, decked out in an iridescent shirt and electric blue platform sneakers.  (Before I leave for the party, my parents laughingly refer to these shoes as my "blue suede shoes."  I don't understand the reference.)

Update:  They were these, but blue.  Oh God.
(photo from Etsy)

2002:  Another church party at my friend's house.  We dance, give each other makeovers, and "model," which in my case means I quietly berate myself for not being able to fit into my friend's tank top with angel wings on it, while she is swimming in my Gap t-shirt.  The next day, I go roller-skating with my sister for her birthday, a tradition that will hang on even until my early 20s.  My sister gives me another Gap t-shirt, and I repay her with Listerine breath sheets and cans of baby applesauce.  I have a "jerkin'" time...(according to my journal at this time, the movie Josie and the Pussycats was to blame for my usage of the word "jerkin'".  Ugh.)

Also, this:
I hope I didn't follow through with this "resolution."  I blame Avril.

2006:  I make the following New Year's resolutions, having high hopes because I have not yet realized that I am the worst at following through and New Year's resolutions are just setting me up to fail.
* Get good grades - I always managed to do this, mostly because at sixteen, my best Friends were Monica, Chandler, Joey, and the gang (see what I did there?) and I didn't have much of a social life to speak of.
*Make nice with everyone and have people like me - I want to clarify that this is verbatim out of a 2006 notebook.  I would never write something this pathetic now.  That's just sad.  I will say I was never actively disliked, if that counts.
*Party - This never happened.  And don't use "party" as a verb, 16-year-old Chelsea.
*Make fashion statements - Psh, I always do this.  Not to brag or anything, but I was def the first person in our class to ever wear leggings.  The boy I had a crush on stared at me in horror and asked, "What is that you have on under your skirt?  I don't...get it."  Hatas gon' hate!
*Make "trick it up" work - I don't know what this means.  Is this like wanting to make "fetch" happen?  Because Gretchen, stop trying to make "fetch" happen!  It's not going to happen.

2007:  I make the following New Year's resolutions, titling the list as "Things to Accomplish," but let's call it what it really is.
*Sing in front of a big crowd - Check!
*Get one of my writing pieces published - Sorry, this won't happen until sometime in 2010.
*Go camping - What?  Why would I want to do this?!  I hate all things associated with outdoors!
*Ride every ride at Valley Fair - This will just never happen.  Ever.  There are roller coasters at Valley Fair, were you aware?
*Dance in the rain - Puke.  We aren't living in a Nicholas Sparks novel here.  Ain't nobody got time for that.  (Is that phrase still relevant?)
*Find a guy who accepts me for who I am - Valid.
*Watch Titanic without crying - Good luck.

2011:  I am living alone in the dorms and am experiencing for the first time in a while what it feels like to be single.  I do not handle it well.  Unknowing that in only a few short months, I will start a relationship with the man who will become my husband, I decide to text my ex-boyfriend and ask him if he has a New Year's kiss.  I do not see this as being unnecessary and masochistic, but I will later.  When he says no, I tell him that my New Year's kiss is the poster of Robert Pattinson I have on my wall.  I don't know why I tell him this, and apparently he doesn't either, because he doesn't respond.  I eat some chocolate and fall asleep to reruns of Keeping Up With the Kardashians.

2013:  I see a great movie (Saving Mr. Banks, highly recommended) and do some shopping with my parents.  I am currently laying in bed with my dog, a People magazine, and an Anne Tyler novel, waiting for my workaholic husband to get home.  I won't have an actual New Year's kiss, champagne, or a party.  I won't have any New Year's resolutions, which is just fine with me.  I wouldn't really have my life any other way :)

Happy New Years, everyone!  :)


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