*Trader Joe's frozen chocolate croissants. You have to let them rise overnight, but it's worth the few extra hours. These are especially good straight out of the oven, eaten while simultaneously crying and watching a sappy ABC Family Christmas movie. (Not that I speak from experience, or anything...)
*Watch sappy ABC Family Christmas movies with your Christmas tree all lit up in the corner. I don't know what it is about a lit-up Christmas tree...it just makes me happy. Also, go for the Amy Smart + Zack Morris Christmas movie, NOT the Melissa Joan Hart + AC Slater one. Trust me on this.
*Pet a dog. Or cat. Or bunny. Seriously, studies show that just petting a dog can release all sorts of positive chemicals in your brain! (I'm not going to include these studies, no, but just know that they're out there.) When I go to the humane society and play fetch with my favorite pups, I NEVER go home feeling grumpy or sad. EVER. Best feeling ever.
*Crafts. Preferably something involving glitter or metallic spray paint. Making something pretty always improves my mood. Last night, I painted wooden letters spelling "JOY" using metallic puff paints. So there's that.
*Cold shower, then popcorn, then multiple episodes of SpongeBob. (If you happen to have NCS, this works wonders as well :) The more salt, the better.) When watching SpongeBob, any episode will do to cheer you up - let's face it, there is no being sad when accompanied by Patrick Star and the gang - but I prefer to stick to seasons 1-6. I recommend the episode "Ripped Pants."
*Go to bed. Seriously, just go to bed. If you have a sleeping mask and the soundtrack to Harry Potter and the Sorcerer's Stone, all the better. I don't know how many times I have had a raging migraine or a case of the Debbie Downers when the only thing that really makes it go away is to go to sleep. When you wake up in the morning, everything seems better. Or at least not as bad.
*Turn on a loud rap song, the nastier the better. I myself enjoy Juvenile's "Back That Azz Up". Dance ghetto at your dog and make him stare at you while tilting his head. Repeat until you're cheered up.
*Watch a good show marathon-style. I like Oddities (it's like American Pickers for weirdos - check it out on Netflix!) and America's Next Top Model. (Shut up.)
*Online shop. Have no regrets. In other words, Treat Yo'Self.
*Paint your nails fun colors. Actually, don't. Don't do this - painting my nails always pisses me off. There's always smudges within like two seconds. Paint your toenails. That's easier.
*Buy fashion magazines and read them standing up in the kitchen while eating graham crackers. Watch infomercials while moisturizing your hands. Examine your pores for an hour in a magnifying mirror. Watch Sex and the City so you know what I'm talking about.
*Go to Barnes and Noble and allow yourself three novels/memoirs/magazines, whatever floats your boat. Luxuriate in the bathtub and read. Is luxuriate a word?
*Play The Unfinished Swan. Seriously.
*Know that no matter what, it could always be worse. Know that someone, somewhere, would probably give anything to be in your shoes right now. Know that regardless of what is happening in your life right now, you are lucky. Lucky! And know that even if you feel fat, or you feel like everyone is moving forward while you're in a freeze-frame, or you don't really know what the hell you're doing in life...it'll be all right. It's always all right.