Tuesday, January 7, 2014

Ron Swanson + April Ludgate = My Spirit Animal

Parks and Recreation is one of the best shows still on television today...in my own humble opinion.  A spinoff of The Office (which, let's all admit, sucked after Michael Scott left) in that it's a mockumentary about an unremarkable workplace, Parks and Rec is slow to draw you in, but after season 1, it's like BAM (with all the awesomeness.)  If you haven't watched it yet, you should definitely give it a try.  It's very smart and funny.

I also have found that I don't dislike any of the characters, which is unusual for me.  Sometimes Anne gets on my nerves, but I still love her.  I love them all!  Since binge-watching the entire series like a month ago, I have come to the conclusion that if April Ludgate and Ron Swanson were morphed into one person, that person would be me.  (Also April and Andy = me and Jared.  For real.)  

Here's the evidence.

(from here)
April!  I also hate talking...to people...about things.  I really do!  One time in college I went for like three straight days without talking to anyone.  Which, when I write it, sounds pretty freakin' pathetic, but at the time it was really kind of cool.  

(from here)
This goes hand in hand with the previous one, but for real.  I so prefer dogs to people.  They're so much better.  I, like April, try to avoid group activities at all costs, and the "get to know ya" portion of starting a  new job is basically my Everest.  Also, this one time in yoga class, the instructor said we were going to do some partner yoga...and I faked a coughing fit, rolled up my mat, and left.  People, man!  They make me anxious!

(from here)
My goal in life is basically to sit at home, in my bed, under a blanket, and write and read books.  If I could get paid for doing that, my life would be complete, and it would also be a little bit smelly and bloated and full of bedsores.  I love not doing things.  It's my favorite hobby.  (To any prospective employers reading this, I'm totally kidding.  Doing things is the best!  And also I love people!)

(from here)
Classic Ron Swanson.  At some restaurants, you get a salad automatically included in the meal price.  I always ask if I can get a dessert instead.  They always say no.  I don't understand how people eat lettuce.  I just don't.  How do you do it?  I can taste ONE SINGLE SHRED of lettuce in a taco, burger, what have you.  ONE SHRED and all its leafy, grass-tasting, slimy grossness.  Lettuce is food that my food consumes.

(from here)
Word.  Since I graduated high school, I haven't made much of an effort to make friends.  (And who wouldn't want to be my friend, I'm so friendly and people-loving!)  I have always been pretty content with just my family, Jared, and myself.  That might become an issue later on in my life...hopefully not.  But for right now, I am perfectly fine with what I've got. :)

(from here)
Ahem...Jared.  Who would probably marry both skim milk and lettuce if he had his way.  Sicko.

(from here)
Also Jared.  I'm a pretty pessimistic person (though I like to think of it as realistic :) ) and I am kind of cynical, but he can make me pretty darn happy.  So Jared, I guess I kind of hate most things (lettuce, perky people, people who whistle, the word "moist", when the plastic over top of the jar of peanut butter rips weird), but I never really seem to hate you (just stop leaving half-empty water bottles all over the house).  :)

Oh, also this:


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