Ron Swanson + April Ludgate = My Spirit Animal

Parks and Recreation is one of the best shows still on television today...in my own humble opinion.  A spinoff of The Office (which, let's all admit, sucked after Michael Scott left) in that it's a mockumentary about an unremarkable workplace, Parks and Rec is slow to draw you in, but after season 1, it's like BAM (with all the awesomeness.)  If you haven't watched it yet, you should definitely give it a try.  It's very smart and funny.

I also have found that I don't dislike any of the characters, which is unusual for me.  Sometimes Anne gets on my nerves, but I still love her.  I love them all!  Since binge-watching the entire series like a month ago, I have come to the conclusion that if April Ludgate and Ron Swanson were morphed into one person, that person would be me.  (Also April and Andy = me and Jared.  For real.)  

Here's the evidence.

(from here)

April!  I also hate talking...to people...about things.  I really do!  One time in college I went for like three straight days without talking to anyone.  Which, when I write it, sounds pretty freakin' pathetic, but at the time it was really kind of cool.  

(from here)

This goes hand in hand with the previous one, but for real.  I so prefer dogs to people.  They're so much better.  I, like April, try to avoid group activities at all costs, and the "get to know ya" portion of starting a  new job is basically my Everest.  Also, this one time in yoga class, the instructor said we were going to do some partner yoga...and I faked a coughing fit, rolled up my mat, and left.  People, man!  They make me anxious!

(from here)

My goal in life is basically to sit at home, in my bed, under a blanket, and write and read books.  If I could get paid for doing that, my life would be complete, and it would also be a little bit smelly and bloated and full of bedsores.  I love not doing things.  It's my favorite hobby.  (To any prospective employers reading this, I'm totally kidding.  Doing things is the best!  And also I love people!)

(from here)

Classic Ron Swanson.  At some restaurants, you get a salad automatically included in the meal price.  I always ask if I can get a dessert instead.  They always say no.  I don't understand how people eat lettuce.  I just don't.  How do you do it?  I can taste ONE SINGLE SHRED of lettuce in a taco, burger, what have you.  ONE SHRED and all its leafy, grass-tasting, slimy grossness.  Lettuce is food that my food consumes.

(from here)

Word.  Since I graduated high school, I haven't made much of an effort to make friends.  (And who wouldn't want to be my friend, I'm so friendly and people-loving!)  I have always been pretty content with just my family, Jared, and myself.  That might become an issue later on in my life...hopefully not.  But for right now, I am perfectly fine with what I've got. :)

(from here)

Ahem...Jared.  Who would probably marry both skim milk and lettuce if he had his way.  Sicko.

(from here)

Also Jared.  I'm a pretty pessimistic person (though I like to think of it as realistic :) ) and I am kind of cynical, but he can make me pretty darn happy.  So Jared, I guess I kind of hate most things (lettuce, perky people, people who whistle, the word "moist", when the plastic over top of the jar of peanut butter rips weird), but I never really seem to hate you (just stop leaving half-empty water bottles all over the house).  :)

Oh, also this:

(here)

xoxochelsea

Sweater Weather versus Swimsuit Weather: Really Not Even a Competition

So, let's just start by saying it is -40 degrees in Iowa right now with the wind chill.  This cannot even be justified.  Mother Nature, you suck.  Days like today make me miss summer, even though when it's summer, I'm sure I complain about the heat just as much.  Instead of shivering inside under my fur-lined blanket, I would much rather be outside in the sunshine - specifically, in Disney World, which is where Jared and I have decided to go on vacation this fall!  This post is a throw-down between things I love about winter versus things I love about summer, with pretty things gathered from the Internet included.  But we'll be honest...I think we all know which is going to come out the winner.

Winter Oxblood versus Summery Neon Nail Polish

The pretty dark red on the left (which is Essie's Wicked) is from here, while the Sonia Kashuk bright set is from here.  Though I think it's fun to have a neon pedicure when you're burying your toes in the sand, I love dark colors on my fingernails the most, even in the summer.  This moody red is just so versatile and looks great with rings on your fingers.
Winner:  Winter!

Holding Mittened Hands Around a Mug of Hot Chocolate versus Sipping Cold Lemonade

Hot chocolate is delicious and all (though I attempted to make some today using water instead of milk, and oh my god it was atrocious), and these Fair Isle mittens are super cute.  But I would take lemonade over hot chocolate any day (I even requested it be served at our wedding), and this ceramic lemonade crock has been on my wish list for ages now.
Winner:  Summer!

Huddling in a Blanket Watching Netflix versus Enjoying Beautiful Nature

I have one of these luxe and super-warm fur blankets at home (it's draped around my shoulders as we speak), and I LOVE it.  When it's cold outside, there is no better way to stay warm than wrapped up in one of these throws watching your favorite television show.  While these flowers are gorgeous (and with this pretty photograph, you can even enjoy them on a cold day from the comfort of your home), I am really not an outdoors kinda girl.  I much prefer to loaf around the house, even if it is nice outside.  Also, I am terrified of bees and other bugs. :)
Winner:  Winter!

Bundling Up in a Cute Scarf versus Swimming in a Retro Bathing Suit

Scarves are very cute in the winter (photo from here), and my infinity scarves in particular get the shit worn out of them this time of year.  Bathing suit shopping is the only kind of shopping I hate, but these retro swimsuits seem to make it all worth it.  They are super flattering on any body shape.  (This polka dotted number is from here.)  And I would MUCH rather be out swimming in the sunshine than putting on a scarf to go outside.
Winner:  Summer!

Boots versus Sandals

I love boots.  I wear them virtually every day in the fall/winter, whether they are my worn-out Fuggs or knee-high riding boots.  They are just so easy and seem to go with everything, from pajamas to a dress and tights.  These glittered booties are by Wanted (found here) and could possibly be the cutest things I've ever seen.  Sandals, on the other hand, are just as versatile in the summer.  I don't like my feet (or anyone's feet, really), but I just can't get past the convenience of throwing on a pair of flip flops to leave the house.  These silver ones are by Steve Madden (found here).  Love 'em!

Winner:  It's a tie!

Blizzard versus Thunderstorm

Screw the snow.  For real.  No matter how pretty it is for the first few hours, or how necessary it seems for Christmas, snow can kiss my ass.  In a matter of days, it's a big, slushy, brown mess.  It ruins hair and stains boots.  It makes driving suck, and it hikes up my electric bill.  Also it's cold.  I hate snow.  (Regardless of how pretty or nice-smelling this festive candle is.)  Summer thunderstorms, however, are the frigging best.  There is nothing I love more in the summer than sitting by a window listening to raindrops and thunder from outside.  This Demeter candle is supposed to smell just like that electricity-fueled, sharp scent in the air right before it storms.  

Winner:  Summer!

Man, that was way closer than I thought it would be.  But of course, summer is the clear winner.  There are a lot more things I love about summer than what is listed here, and I am just counting down the days until the awful mess outside melts and the trees come back to life.

Stay warm out there!

xoxochelsea

Books That Turn My Frown Upside Down!

Certain books make you feel certain emotions.  The Fault in Our Stars = extreeeeme sadness.  Stephen King novels = afraid.  Danielle Steel/Nicholas Sparks = nausea.  50 Shades of Grey - ...well, y'know.  I'm not going to talk about those books today.  I'm going to talk about books that I put down feeling nothing but happiness.  These are the kinds of books that I can turn to when I have had a bad day, that, when I open their pages, provide an escape to a world much different than mine.  Today I'm in need of that kind of story.  If you are too, keep reading and maybe you'll find something that can improve your day.  (All photos from Goodreads)

Happy Photography Books

The Family of Man - Edward Steichen and Carl Sandburg
This coffee table photo book is full of inspiring photos of people around the world, portraying emotions that all humans feel.  I love flipping through it, and I am particularly inspired by the photos depicting children.  A great book.
Underwater Dogs - Seth Casteel
All of these dogs have such manic and joyful expressions on their faces as they jump into the water, and they really are a joy to look at.  If you read this blog, you'll know that I love dogs, and this happy book of wet dogs is a must for any fellow dog-lover.

Happy Inspiring Books

How to Be Single - Liz Tuccillo
 Though I am no longer single, this book still inspires me as much as it did when I was without a significant other.  It's a fairly cheesy chick-lit novel, yes.  But there is definitely something here that makes it more than that.  It's well-written, and the plot has an Eat Pray Love vibe to it that really appeals to me.  The four female protagonists are all friends, and they're all single and bored.  Growing tired of the boredom, they decide to travel around the world, interviewing other women and asking them how they deal with the single life.  It might be a worn-out plot, but I was actually really inspired by this - it made me want to pack my bags up and travel!  I also hear there is a movie in the works.

My Year With Eleanor - Noelle Hancock
In this memoir, the author has been fired from her prestigious job, and during her career, she seems to have lost herself.  Struck by Eleanor Roosevelt's quote, "Do one thing every day that scares you," she decides to do just that and pursue a "Year of Fear."  It's a memoir goal that has definitely been done before - by Jen Lancaster and AJ Jacobs, to name a few - but it seems fresh in this book.  A nerve-wracking dive with sharks and a stand-up comedy gig are just a few of the things she makes herself do...and all of these things result in huge benefits for her self-confidence.  Very inspiring to me - there are so many things that scare me, and it would be a great test for myself to face some of those things.

Happy Funny Books

Hyperbole and a Half - Allie Brosh
Much of the material in this hilarious illustrated memoir comes from the author's blog, but since I had never read her blog before, it was all new to me.  I rarely laugh aloud at books or movies, but this one definitely had me laughing.  It wasn't so much her words - though her stories of her "simple-minded dog" were definitely funny - but her messy comic-strip-esque drawings that got me.  I was wiping away tears of laughter by page 4.  I don't really know how to explain it, other than to say that to me, it was comedy genius.  There was also a portion about depression that was perhaps the best explanation of the illness I've ever come across.  Even Jared found this funny, and books are basically the bane of his existence.

Let's Pretend This Never Happened - Jenny Lawson
It wasn't until after reading this memoir that I became a fan of the author's blog, The Bloggess.  (Also her hilarious Twitter account).  This memoir contains stories of growing up in rural Texas with a taxidermy-obsessed father.  No reviews can do this one justice.  The Bloggess definitely has her own brand of strange humor, and it appealed to me for sure.


Happy Magical Books


















The Magicians - Lev Grossman
I'm not sure if I've mentioned this book here before, but if I have, I'll do it again.  Because it's just that good.  Prior to this novel (and The Night Circus), I was not really a fan of magical realism - besides Harry Potter, of course.  It just never clicked for me.  However, this book blew me away.  It can be described as a sort of Harry Potter goes to college/The Chronicles of Narnia for the adult set.  The protagonist, Quentin, misses his childhood, along with the beloved book series he used to read, a Narnia-ish series about the land of Fillory.  After being unexpectedly admitted to a college he's never heard of, Quentin enters another world - a world of sorcery - all while still experiencing the life of a typical college student.  His friends and him also come to find...Fillory is a real place.  I know how it might sound, but this one is worth a read.  Seeeriously magical.

Calling Invisible Women - Jeanne Ray
Clover is a middle-aged mother, and she wakes up one day to find that she is invisible - literally invisible.  However, her son and husband don't seem to notice.  She realizes then that she was invisible to them way before she was actually invisible.  After discovering that there are other women out there in her predicament, she tries to get them out of their unfortunate situation.  This was funny and sweet, though the premise is a bit sobering (women going unnoticed by their husbands).  Very captivating and smart, with some great female protagonists.

Happy Sweet Books

















All There Is - Dave Isay
The author is the founder of StoryCorps, which goes out on the streets collecting ordinary people's extraordinary stories.  These particular stories are about courtship and commitment.  Some are sad, others are joyful.  But all are extremely sweet and touching.  A great collection of real-life love stories.

Love at First Bark - Julie Klam
Yes, I know, yet another dog book.  This is one is extremely short though; it can be read all in one sitting.  A warm little memoir about dog rescue and how it can change your life.  This book really spoke to me, and I have a lot of respect for this author and her soft spot for dogs.  Her goal of finding dogs in need amazing homes is a goal I'd like to share; becoming more involved in dog rescue is definitely something I'd like to do.

Happy Berg Books

The Pull of the Moon - Elizabeth Berg
I used to be obsessed with this author; I tore through her past work after reading this particular novel.  Her book on writing is the single best writing tool I've ever come across.  I was super pumped to spend a week in San Francisco with her on a writing retreat...but she canceled at the last minute.  :(  Since then, her newer novels haven't had quite the same effect on me.  However, this one is absolutely amazing.  A middle-aged woman is bored with her marriage - she needs a change.  She abruptly decides to "take a break" and take a solo road trip.  Along the way, she follows her heart and comes home a new, refreshed woman.  It's not a groundbreaking plot, no.  But the writing is absolutely exquisite.  If I was one for highlighting in books, nearly ever other beautiful sentence would be bright yellow.  Just great writing.

The Day I Ate Whatever I Wanted - Elizabeth Berg
This is a book of short stories, and the title story is actually called, "The Day I Ate Whatever the Fuck I Wanted."  Each story can be thought of as women breaking free from convention and expectation, whether it be by eating an entire box of donuts or by starting a middle-aged dating service.  I loved this.  Very very inspiring and upbeat.  Read this if you need a boost.

As always, happy reading!
xoxochelsea

Gold Inspiration for the New Year

For some reason, gold is the color I think of when I think of the New Year.  Gold confetti and glittery dresses, I love it!  Here are some Midas-inspired pretties to ring in 2014!

This blogger spiced up her plain white Ikea dresser using spray-painted trim from O'Verlays.  Check out her glam dresser makeover here.  This would look amazing in a luxe entryway/foyer.

This glittery gold banner is sold by a shop on Etsy, but it would be a pretty easy DIY.  Would be perfectly festive on a plain white wall, on a Christmas tree, or across a window!

One of my favorite bloggers of all times seems to love all things gold and thought this (formerly black and white) bulldog from the Target Dollar Spot needed some spicing up.  So she used gold leaf to give him a shiny new coat.  She shares her DIY here.

Gold, glitter, and polka dots...three of my favorite things!  This blinged-out closet is absolutely gorgeous; it makes me want to deck out one of my house's closets with glitter paint or pretty wallpaper...an unexpected and fun touch.  DIY over here.

Blogger Emily Schuman made some pretty, sparkly, "just because" cards to send to her friends.  My favorite is the one with the Mean Girls quote :)  Check them out here.

Now I'm not one to condone the destruction of literature.  But this DIY project involves chevron and gold, and I just can't ignore that.  A cute idea to spice up a centerpiece or a topper for a side table...maybe you could use old textbooks or something :)  Project found here.

Gold is one of my very favorite colors for home decor, and it can be used in so many different ways.  It will definitely always be a color that can be spotted around my home.  One of my most prized possessions in terms of completely unnecessary home decor items is a gold candle stand from Target:

It is from their Patch NYC collection from last year, so it's no longer sold in stores.  

Happy 2014!!

xoxochelsea

Should Auld Acquaintance Be Forgot: New Years Eves Gone By

2000 (because I don't remember any New Years prior to this one):  I am laying on a sleeping bag in our living room, eating popcorn and Junior Mints.  I keep taking sips of Mountain Dew and getting annoyed at the way the Junior Mints cancel out the taste of, like, anything else.  My mom's antique noisemakers lay beside me, ready to be put into use at the stroke of midnight.  We are watching the annual New Year's festivities on television, with quick switches to the news channel at commercials.  I am confused by the news coverage of people stocking up on water bottles and batteries - it's just another year to me.  The excitement doesn't faze me in the least, and I am asleep before eleven, Dick Clark's voice in the background.

2001:  I am excited for my best friend's family's New Year's Eve party, held mostly for adults who attend their church.  I have high hopes for a certain boy to be there, who I met through a random visit to said church.  Unfortunately, it isn't meant to be, since that boy is skiing with his family in Colorado, which I find to be inexplicably hilarious.  Instead, I spend the night dancing to the Grease soundtrack and Shania Twain in my friend's basement, decked out in an iridescent shirt and electric blue platform sneakers.  (Before I leave for the party, my parents laughingly refer to these shoes as my "blue suede shoes."  I don't understand the reference.)

Update:  They were these, but blue.  Oh God.

(photo from Etsy)

2002:  Another church party at my friend's house.  We dance, give each other makeovers, and "model," which in my case means I quietly berate myself for not being able to fit into my friend's tank top with angel wings on it, while she is swimming in my Gap t-shirt.  The next day, I go roller-skating with my sister for her birthday, a tradition that will hang on even until my early 20s.  My sister gives me another Gap t-shirt, and I repay her with Listerine breath sheets and cans of baby applesauce.  I have a "jerkin'" time...(according to my journal at this time, the movie Josie and the Pussycats was to blame for my usage of the word "jerkin'".  Ugh.)

Also, this:

I hope I didn't follow through with this "resolution."  I blame Avril.

2006:  I make the following New Year's resolutions, having high hopes because I have not yet realized that I am the worst at following through and New Year's resolutions are just setting me up to fail.

* Get good grades - I always managed to do this, mostly because at sixteen, my best Friends were Monica, Chandler, Joey, and the gang (see what I did there?) and I didn't have much of a social life to speak of.

*Make nice with everyone and have people like me - I want to clarify that this is verbatim out of a 2006 notebook.  I would never write something this pathetic now.  That's just sad.  I will say I was never actively disliked, if that counts.

*Party - This never happened.  And don't use "party" as a verb, 16-year-old Chelsea.

*Make fashion statements - Psh, I always do this.  Not to brag or anything, but I was def the first person in our class to ever wear leggings.  The boy I had a crush on stared at me in horror and asked, "What is that you have on under your skirt?  I don't...get it."  Hatas gon' hate!

*Make "trick it up" work - I don't know what this means.  Is this like wanting to make "fetch" happen?  Because Gretchen, stop trying to make "fetch" happen!  It's not going to happen.

2007:  I make the following New Year's resolutions, titling the list as "Things to Accomplish," but let's call it what it really is.

*Sing in front of a big crowd - Check!

*Get one of my writing pieces published - Sorry, this won't happen until sometime in 2010.

*Go camping - What?  Why would I want to do this?!  I hate all things associated with outdoors!

*Ride every ride at Valley Fair - This will just never happen.  Ever.  There are roller coasters at Valley Fair, were you aware?

*Dance in the rain - Puke.  We aren't living in a Nicholas Sparks novel here.  Ain't nobody got time for that.  (Is that phrase still relevant?)

*Find a guy who accepts me for who I am - Valid.

*Watch Titanic without crying - Good luck.

2011:  I am living alone in the dorms and am experiencing for the first time in a while what it feels like to be single.  I do not handle it well.  Unknowing that in only a few short months, I will start a relationship with the man who will become my husband, I decide to text my ex-boyfriend and ask him if he has a New Year's kiss.  I do not see this as being unnecessary and masochistic, but I will later.  When he says no, I tell him that my New Year's kiss is the poster of Robert Pattinson I have on my wall.  I don't know why I tell him this, and apparently he doesn't either, because he doesn't respond.  I eat some chocolate and fall asleep to reruns of Keeping Up With the Kardashians.

2013:  I see a great movie (Saving Mr. Banks, highly recommended) and do some shopping with my parents.  I am currently laying in bed with my dog, a People magazine, and an Anne Tyler novel, waiting for my workaholic husband to get home.  I won't have an actual New Year's kiss, champagne, or a party.  I won't have any New Year's resolutions, which is just fine with me.  I wouldn't really have my life any other way :)

Happy New Years, everyone!  :)

xoxochelsea

I'm Just a Notch in Your Bedpost, But You're Just A Line in a Song: Music Nostalgia Part 2

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The Twelve Dates of Christmas Revisited

A little over a year ago, I posted about how I wanted to participate in a trend that was taking over the blog world called "Twelve Dates of Christmas."  This never actually happened.  I always have good intentions about carrying out plans, it's just that Netflix just always seems to take priority over said plans.  However, this winter, Husband and I have actually gotten around to fulfilling a few of those dates...better late than never?  The fact that we have gone out on dates at all is quite an accomplishment in itself - we're more of the staying-in-playing-video-games type of people.  The highlights of the winter dating spree thus far have been:

Countless Visits to Different Humane Societies/Shelters in the Area

This is one of my all-time favorite things to do!  There is no other feeling out there like the feeling of making a difference, and even if you're just taking one dog out on a walk or brushing one cat's fur, you've likely made that animal EXTREMELY happy.  I remember one day last month, Jared and I spent over two hours at the Humane Society just taking out dog after dog on a walk.  We like to take the ones that aren't as popular with most volunteers (a stubborn golden retriever or an energetic pit, for example) because it's those animals that need the most lovin'.  The gorgeous girl above is named Roxie, available at the PAWS Humane Society, and we absolutely fell in love with her.  More interested in giving cuddles and kisses than chasing a ball, this one.  I would go alone to the shelters to volunteer, for sure, but it's always nice to have someone there with you to share the joy in spending time with animals...and to pick up the poop.

Game Night

One night, after going out to eat, Jared and I decided to visit Gamers (because we're the biggest geeks that ever existed.)  I decided to pick one game, and he picked another, and then we took 'em both home and played for hours.  My choice was Adventure Island II for NES, which was clearly superior to Jared's choice of MarioKart for N64.  (Though most people would argue the opposite...I am complete garbage at racing games.)  Following that, we played a round or two of Just Dance and Glee Karaoke, and then we followed that up with Uno and Scattergories.  It was a relaxed, fun night, even though it did get a little heated at times because my husband is a sore loser.

Ornament-Creating!

The empty plastic ornaments were three dollars, and the paint pens were six, both at Michael's.  Mustache made by Jared, Riley + paw print made by Jared, printed lyrics to "I Believe in Santa Claus" by Kenny and Dolly by both of us, snowman and jelly beans by yours truly.  This was a super easy, cheap, and fun way to spend an evening.  I also kept spelling it "Clause" instead of "Claus"...I was all confused by that damn Tim Allen movie...and so we tried to turn the "e's" into poorly-drawn snowflakes.  

Trans-Siberian Orchestra:  The Lost Christmas Eve Tour

Following a slumber party at his parent's house with two shih-tzus, Jared and I went to a Trans-Siberian Orchestra Christmas concert, which I had been wanting to attend for YEARS.  (The tickets were Jared's 1st anniversary gift to me, while I got him tickets to Valley Scare - first year is paper, y'know...) It was pretty amazing.  A little more singing and hair-flinging than I had anticipated...but still amazing.  Any concert that can make me want to play air-guitar to "Carol of the Bells" is pretty damn cool.

Vintage Christmas Shopping

I have a strong love for vintage Christmas ornaments, and that was the only thing our house was sorely lacking this years in terms of decoration.  This ornament I found at an amazing little vintage shop in downtown Cedar Falls is a near replica of an ornament my mom has, and I loovvvve it.  The starburst glasses were an impulse buy, but they look awesome in my glass case for dishes too pretty to use.  Jared doesn't enjoy shopping unless it's at Scheel's, so this was definitely more of a date for me...but he was a trooper, nodding politely at houndstooth-print wrapping paper and paint-by-numbers prints of kittens.  

Jammies for Riley!

Because there is not a whole lot cuter than a dog wearing onesie pajamas.  Please don't judge us because we are the type of people who purchase clothing for their dog.

Still to do:  hot chocolate drinking, Christmas-light-looking, and Christmas-Vacation-watching!  

xoxochelsea