Etsy Roundup: A Vintage Christmas

One of my favorite parts of the holidays is decorating the house.  This is only the second year that Jared and I have had a house all our own to deck out with twinkle lights and fragrant wreaths, and honestly, I'm still trying to perfect my whole holiday-decorating-without-going-tacky-and-overboard thing.  I tend to get a little nuts with the glitter.  My mom, however, has Christmas decorating down to a science.  Since I was old enough to do so, I loved helping her and my dad put ornaments on the tree and set out Santa Clauses in various sizes - to the tunes of Kenny and Dolly's christmas album, of course.  And I'm guessing that about 85% of my mom's pieces are original vintage items - I'm pretty enamored of them all!  Her home during the month of December is my inspiration for this roundup of all things vintage holiday from Etsy.

*Holiday bubble light bulbs - My mom has these for both Christmas and Halloween.  These are from the 60s, and they're super fun and colorful.

*Aluminum Christmas tree - We have one of these, from the 60s as well, that has the original color light wheel that lights the branches up different colors.

*This ceramic tree from the 1970s sits proudly on top of our piano.  I love the multicolored twinkle lights!

*These adorable little houses, made in the 50s, are covered in glitter and faux snow.  They look so cute all clustered together in a Christmas village.  They would also look awesome if you created a little holiday scene inside a bell jar or something, a la the Pinterest craze.

*A wire advent Christmas tree (from the 70s) would look equally amazing holding holiday cards or used as a unique advent calendar.  You could use this in so many ways!

*Nothing screams December 25th at me than the perfectly imperfect tree ornaments from the 50s-70s.  Though I like the originals best, there are some great reproductions out there.

*This wreath made from silver and gold bulbs is only from the 1980s, but you could easily make one yourself too!  I've seen some pretty awesome reproductions of this wreath at Target, only they use ornaments that are all glittery and bedazzled.

*It just isn't Christmas without a little Bing!  This Bing Crosby record is a holiday classic...though to be honest, I prefer our Gene Autry Cowboy Christmas album :)

Enjoy your holiday!  :)

xoxochelsea

Don't Shop, Adopt!!: Christmas Gifts for your Rescue Dog!

Last year around this time, I thought of myself as a fairly passionate person.  However, when I stopped to think about, what did I really feel passionate about?  I enjoy writing, but it's not my passion - it makes me feel too pressured and at times insecure.  Same goes for playing piano.  I can't be passionate about reading, though God knows it's my absolute favorite.  I sure as hell wasn't passionate about my previous jobs, which mostly consisted of answering phones and/or selling people clothes and cleaning up after them.  And then Jared and I visited the Humane Society of North Iowa.

To be clear, I had never had a pet before.  And I liked animals for sure, but I had liked them like, "Oh, sure, I'll pet your dog, okay, that's enough now."  But after visiting and volunteering at the Humane Society for a couple of months, I was like, Oh.  Okay.  This.  This is what I care about.  Dog after dog, cat after cat, staring at me from behind bars.  It sounds like a sad place, but it's really not - to me, it's hopeful.  These animals have all been given second chances at new, better lives than the ones they had before.  The look in the dog's face when you approach them with a leash, the way the cats press themselves against the cage to be petted - there are ways of not needing much, and these animals really don't; they just, like so many of us, want to be loved.  The first time Jared and I visited, all we did was hang out in a few of the dogs' kennels.  A simple thing...but when we left, the world I walked outside into was so different from what it was before.  I decided to leave my higher-paying job in order to work as a kenneler, and later, as customer service, at the HSNI.  

This list of "HSNI Christmas gifts" is really more for my entertainment than anything else - and so I can promote the personalities of these wonderful dogs.  Though these would all be kickass gifts for your own dog, if you'd actually like to buy something to donate to the Humane Society, they can always use things like paper towels, plastic bags, and bleach.  Otherwise, here is their Amazon Wish List.  Maybe this Christmas, we can think a little less about spend, spend, spend...and we can think more about spending time with these furry sweethearts, who just want a warm home and someone to snuggle. :)

Beau and Chachi

Beau and Chachi (photo from here, courtesy of Arickx Photography) have been dealt a pretty rough card in life.  Their owner passed away, and they were thought to be in the house alone for a week before they were rescued and brought to us.  Both dogs are considered "senior dogs" (over 7 years of age), and they are not in the greatest of shape.  Multiple health problems and old age have made these sweetie pies get passed over time and time again.  But those ailments haven't brought them down - they are two of my favorite dogs in the building.  Beau's excited prances and whimpers, paired with Chachi's playful barks and side-eyed glances, make them pretty hard to resist.  If they were my dogs, I would totally push them around in this adorable doggy stroller!  Beau still loves to go on walks, but because of their age, this would be a fun and easy way for them to get outside and get some fresh air.  One of my favorite times of the day at work is going to visit Chachi and Beau and watching them fight over who gets petted first. :)

Goldie

Sigh.  Good old Goldie.  (Photo from here, courtesy of Arickx Photography)  This poor girl has a sad story also.  I'm sure many people are already aware of it, so I'll spare you the details.  Basically, she was abandoned and left to die in someone's house for weeks and forced to chew off her tail to survive.  Though she came to the Humane Society pretty traumatized, she has thrived since, gaining weight and wiggling that stubby little tail like crazy!  Unfortunately, Goldie has been there since January of last year.  :(  Nearly a year without a home and owner to call her own!  (The reason, though controversial among HSNI "critics", is that she is unable to live with other animals, and she is a senior dog but very, very high energy.  These factors combined have made her tough to adopt out.)  She is such a trooper though, and she always gets most excited about two things:  food (of course) and tennis balls.  My LORD, she loves tennis balls.  You could honestly wear your arm out throwing the damn ball, and she could still go for hours playing fetch.  Thus, a great gift for a Goldie owner would be this Go Dog Go fetch machine!  This bucket pushes tennis balls into the mechanism and launches them automatically for your dog to chase.  A cheaper option would be this K9 Kannon, which is basically a Nerf gun that shoots tennis balls.

(Oh!  Goldie also loves to be sprayed with water...she tries to eat it.  :)  So cute!)

Chuy

All poor Chuy (photo from here, courtesy of Love and Luck Photography) wants is a warm lap to curl up on and someone to give him lots and lots of love!  This guy is a typical chihuahua, and though he tends to pick and choose who he likes, there's tons of love and affection within his tiny little body.  Chuy is an older gentleman, and what he needs is a home to retire in.  He also loves his beds and blankets.  And yes, yes, this plush dog bed is pink and green, and Chuy is a dude - it's fine :)  I don't think gender stereotypes apply to canines.  Give Chuy a blanket along with this bed, and you will soon only see a small lump under the blanket...he likes to hide under the covers! :)

Jack/Gunner

Look at these handsome boys!!!  (Photos from here, courtesy of Arickx Photography) Both released to us from their previous homes (through no fault of their own!), Gunner and Jack are often passed over by potential adopters because they are both very energetic.  Poor guys!  However, once they've burned off all their pent-up energy, they're total sweethearts.  And the way they like to burn off energy?  FETCH.  Get these two guys in separate outdoor runs (along with Tipper, below!), they run back and forth, chasing each other and tennis balls through the fence - it is hilarious!  But because their jaws are so dang strong, lots of our tennis balls end up pretty much ruined.  These balls are said to be virtually indestructible...perfect for these playful guys.  Plus, they come in glow in the dark!  :)

Tipper

Those ears!  (Photo from here, courtesy of Tyler Trenhaile)  Not only is this guy absolutely gorgeous, but he is also super smart!  He knows several commands and listens extremely well...he also does great on walks.  And man, can he jump!  Showing me his special talent for catching things mid-air, Tipper showed off in the outdoor runs with Gunner and Jack, as well as catching treats when I threw them.  This adorable little pet treat launcher would be great for him and his future owner...it launches dog treats 20 feet in the air for your pup to leap for!

Rico















Rico was adopted out to someone this past summer (photo from here, courtesy of Love and Luck Photography), after which he was sadly shuttled around from home to home - that's no life for a dog!  Somehow, he got out, and he made his way back to us.  Though of course he is sad to be back in the shelter, he is quite a happy little guy.  He gets along with cats and most other dogs, and though he's timid with strangers, he's SUCH a lover once he gets to know you.  Don't be intimidated by his excited barks when he's in his kennel - he is just an excitable dog, and he immediately quiets once he is let out.  He is a lovable lap dog who even loves baths, and his toothy little grin can make anyone's day!  Rico needs to wear a harness when he goes on walks because of his tendency to cough with a regular leash and collar. This plaid harness would look so cute on this little guy!


Chico

Chico came in as a stray (photo from here, courtesy of Arickx Photography) with a little chihuahua girlfriend, and though she has found a forever home, he is still waiting!  I love him because he tries to act super tough when he's in his kennel, but as soon you open the door, he's just a little lovebug.  You will fall in love with his prance when he walks and his crazy, excited tail!  If Chico were my dog, I would dress him up in tough biker doggie clothes (shirt; jacket) just because they're so not suited for him - he's a softie at heart!

CUTTER OMG CUTTER!!


















I am in love with this dog.  (Photo from here, courtesy of Love and Luck Photography)  In fact, the entire staff loves Cutter - how could you not?!  LOOK at this heartbreaker!  I have such a soft spot in my heart for this dog - he needs a home so badly.  He came to us as a stray, and he has turned out to be the sweetest and most loving dog ever.  He picks and chooses which dogs he's friends with, but he loves all humans and children of all ages.  He also seems to enjoy having baths and having his ears cleaned, which is definitely unusual for a dog.  I just cannot say enough good things about Cutter, and it breaks my heart because he is consistently passed over...because he's a pit bull.  The breed has such a bad reputation...but Cutter does NOT fit the stereotype AT ALL.  If I took Cutter home with me (and oh Lord, I would if I could)...I would deck him out in this dapper bowtie, like the gentleman he is!

Okay, this list could go on and on.  I actually had more dogs I was going to discuss, but I'm on the verge of writing a novella here.  Again, if you'd actually like to donate to the Humane Society of North Iowa, don't donate these things :)  Check out their wishlist on Amazon, or give us a visit and see these guys!  For more information on them, you can go to their website.  These dogs deserve another shot at a happy home.

Jared and I also adopted a Peekipoo named Riley from here.  He has human eyes, likes to sleep under the covers by our feet, barks when we kiss, and we're pretty in love with him.  :)  More about him in another post.

Please volunteer at the Humane Society if you get a chance.  It will improve your day for sure, and it'll DEFINITELY improve the day of the animals you spend time with.

xoxochelsea

But You Don't Look Sick...

I have an illness.  One of those invisible illnesses that make people look at you strangely and say, "But you don't look sick."  One of those that make your coworkers doubtingly roll their eyes after you leave sick from work again, that make your siblings call you a drama queen.  I have what is either called neurocardiogenic syncope (NCS) or postural orthopedic tachycardia syndrome (POTS) - the symptoms and cause are generally the same.  Basically, blood pools in my extremities, and where most people's bodies just pump more blood to their head to make up for it, mine does not; instead, my blood pressure drops alarmingly quickly and my heart slows down. This causes intense bouts of nausea, sweat, dizziness, et cetera.  I don't know how to describe it other than that it feels like you are coming down with the worst flu ever, the feeling you have right before you puke.  And that feeling, for me, can last five minutes.  Or it can last five hours.

And it comes back the next day.

And the next.

Various medications reduce the occurrence of these episodes, but they happen quite a bit more often than most people know.  The episodes tend to end in me fainting or vomiting (sometimes both), and the dizziness tends to continue for much of the day.  Various triggers can cause an episode, and the ones I've run into are:  hot showers, hot days in general, not eating enough, eating too much, not drinking enough, some physical activities, alcohol, caffeine, taking new medications or taking medications at different times of the day, and stress.  As you can see, it's super fun!

Because it is important to have a sense of humor about shitty things, here are some episodes I've had that, in retrospect, make me laugh my ass off.

*When Jared and I first started dating, I went over to his house on a super hot day...and I really had to pee.  He gave me a hug, and I guess he squeezed a little too hard - I lost my breath and passed out...and I peed all over his dining room floor while I was out.  I woke up to a pale-faced Jared, cell phone in one hand and paper towels in the other.  Part of the reason I wanted to marry him is because he loved me enough to clean up my urine on one of our first dates.  :)  What a stud.

*I worked at Target for approximately three months one summer.  I was cashiering on, again, a super hot day, and suddenly, I felt just so sick.  I went to try to sit down on a bench (in the middle of ringing someone up, mind you), but I didn't quite make it.  I woke up on a stretcher with around seven faces floating above me, some screaming "Code blue, lane 19!!" into their walkies.  They didn't believe me when I was like, "Uhh, guys.  It's fine.  This happens a lot.  Just give me a bottle of water and a sandwich."  After that day, I was assigned solely to fitting room duty, in which I sat in a chair all day in a remote corner of the store.

*Jared and I were in a Sears one day (episodes tend to come on while shopping in a mall, for some reason), and I started to feel sick and dizzy.  Not wanting to pass out in front of people, we headed for the bathroom.  As I cracked the door of the ladies' room, I heard some loud vomit noises coming from within (because of course someone was puking in there.  Of course.)  Jared escorted me into the men's room, and as he wet a paper towel for my forehead, he said, "Okay, now, do NOT sit on the floor in here, it is SO disgusting," but my whole body had already hit the cool, sticky, tile of the Sears' men's bathroom.  "Oh, God, you're LAYING on this floor.  Oh God," my germ-obsessed husband freaked out.  And then a mustached man walks in.  Looks at us.  "She has a heart condition," Jared offered quietly.  The man replies, "Well, I don't care.  I'm gonna take a piss anyway."  And then Jared and I sit awkwardly in silence listening to the sounds of the guy's urine splashing the urinal.

Oh, God, I could go on and on listing them, but there's too many, and honestly, some are pretty gross.  Even grosser than cleaning up pee and laying on a trashy department store's bathroom floor.

I am grateful my illness is so mild and non-life threatening...but I do wish there was more awareness about diseases no one can see.  Just because I may not look like a sick person doesn't mean I am faking an illness or making it up.  For reference, you can check with that mustached guy from Sears - I'm sure he remembers me :)

xoxochelsea

Reasons Why 'Friendship Business' is One of the Most Important Saved by the Bell Episodes...

...of all time.  Wow, that title got out of hand.

Saved by the Bell is constantly on my Netflix queue, though I do own all seasons on DVD (not including The College Years.  I try to forget about those.)  I find that while I am Internet-surfing or crafting or eating Lunchables, the best background noise seems to be Zack's talking-to-the-camera voice and canned "Ooooh"s after Jessie says something especially snarky.  The episode that popped up this particular evening was none other than "The Friendship Business," which I love and which epitomizes what Saved by the Bell is really all about.  Including, but not limited to:

Friendship Bracelets and/or Headbands are Super Cool, Fashion-Wise

During a project in Mr. Tuttle's Economics course, Zack and the gang have to start a business and make a profit.  Since Lisa has been making friendship bracelets, yes, friendship bracelets, in the Fashion Club she is a part of (which, incidentally, is never really mentioned again in the series), Zack decides to grab the idea for his own benefit.  He does that a lot.  And with good purpose - what high school student wouldn't shell out five bucks to look like these edgy trendsetters?

(Photo from here)

Pocket Protectors are a Thing

Zack's competition is a group of surfers selling cardboard surfboards and these "dorks" with their pocket protector protector.  I remember hearing a lot about pocket protectors on television shows that stereotyped nerds...but are these actually a thing?  They exist, but do people really use them?  I've never seen one in real life.  But I have also never seen a high school boy named Poindexter.  I'll just chalk it up to the Saved by the Bell Experience - along with the elusive Tori, "Time Out," and modeling jobs in Paris that are never claimed.

(Photo from here)

Mr. Tuttle is a Wizard of Teaching

Mr. Tuttle, a god among men, seems to love each group's ideas equally, cheering them back to their desks ("motivatedmotivatedmotivated").  Speaking of Mr. Tuttle...what exactly is this man's job description?  He is an economics teacher...a shop teacher...a driver's education instructor...a CHOIR teacher...and a science teacher.  Did I miss anything?  This man can do it all.  

(Photo from here)

THIS VIDEO OH MY GOD THIS VIDEO

So after Zack tells Lisa he needs 60 bracelets per day and takes over the presidency for himself (see below:  Zack Morris is Awful), everyone walks out on him - except Screech, who doesn't know how to quit Zack - to start their own business.  Their new business?  Buddy Bands - Hey...They Work.  This video just...screams 90s.  It is everything I love about this show.  Just...there are no words.  Watch it.  The best part is how everyone in the class applauds all speechless like they just watched the most awesome Hot Sundae music video of all time.  (Wait.  They kind of did.)  After seeing the great success of the super stylish Bands, Zack decides he needs a new selling strategy.  Which leads us to...

Zack Morris is Awful

The picture doesn't lie.  Zack decides he needs to be selling more bracelets and makin' dat money - which seems to be a common theme on this show.  And I don't get it...what is he going to buy with all of his sneakily-made cash?  An even more giant cell phone (burn!)?  A second cardboard cutout of his girlfriend?  Illegal entry to The Attic?  Okay, I'm done.  So this awesome friend's business strategy is...to pimp Screech out to each buyer.  Like poor Samuel is a cheap hooker.  Zack refers to it as "getting a friend for an hour with each purchase" or something like that, but let's call it what it is here, Zack.  Prostitution.  The johns (are they called johns?  I'm unfamiliar with the prostitution lingo.  We'll go with it.) who rent Screech do things like make him carry their books and dance with him for hours.  And honestly, if Peggy really wants to dance at The Max with Dustin Diamond all night, she probably has more problems than a temporary friend can solve.

Zack sucks.  I can't believe I ever loved this man.  He basically made Lisa his slave and Screech his bitch.  And this is just another day at Bayside.  Here is more proof.

(Photo from here)

Mr. Belding is Desperate and Uncool

Someone please explain to me the nature of Zack and Mr. Belding's relationship.  I mean, really.  The guy is pumping iron (or "buffing those biceps," as Zack awkwardly says) in a boy's locker room in the middle of a school day?  And is "honored" that Zack wants him to wear a friendship headband?  What...is happening?  The name of this image, fittingly enough, was "creepy.jpg".  Oh yeah, the plot point is that Awful Zack gives Mr. Belding a Buddy Band - actually, wants him to have it..."badly" - so that a ponytailed sweaty guy feels out of style once he sees the principal with one.  And then everyone wants their money back.  Because Belding?  "You can't get more defective than that."  How rude.  Score: 30,000,000 Zack Morris; 0 the rest of the world.
(photo from here)

Love Cuffs:  Not an S&M-esque toy for the bedroom, but a way for high schoolers to make a profit!

The Max's Max makes everyone friends again simply by giving the gang friendship bracelets "from Zack" and asking Zack if he wants to order "four friends with a Screech on the side."  Jerk.  And then everything's fine.  Oh, and the group decides to pitch Love Cuffs to Mr. Tuttle instead, which are basically furry handcuffs for the high school set.  Mr. Tuttle is ecstatic about the Love Cuffs.  Infer what you will.

(photo from here)

Well, I don't know about you guys, but I learned a lot of lessons from this episode.  But that's the thing about Saved by the Bell...so much learning on so many levels.

xoxochelsea

These are a Few of my Favorite...Christmas Cards! :)

Raindrops on roses, and whiskers on kittens...hand cramps and custom stamps and...envelopes for lickin'?  That worked out pretty well, actually.  So Jared and I bought Christmas cards on clearance from Target two years ago.  I was all amped up about personalized messages for each recipient, tales about our first year as a married couple, and red sparkly ink.  But unfortunately, as a duo, Husband and I are incredibly skilled at procrastinating.  That brings us to 2013, and our holiday cards are still in their package in a closet somewhere.  And I don't think I even like them anymore.  BUT perhaps someday, we will get around to sending them - I'm guessing in approximately 2017 - and in the meantime, here are some gorgeous holiday cards that all you overachievers can personalize and send.

1.  Gold foil embellished New Year's card

2.  Gold foil colorblock Merry and Bright card

3.  Home Alone themed card!

4.  Year in Review custom card - I love this idea because it allows for fewer hand cramps!  Instead of writing a message about your year, it's included on the actual card.

5.  Gingerbread Ninja "Ginjas"card - I feel like Jared would think this was hilarious.  

6.  Custom photo Merry and Bright card

7.  Breaking Bad holiday card! - I KNOW Jared would think this was hilarious.  Basically anything involving the word "bitch" makes him giggle like a prepubescent.  (Me too, let's be honest.)

8.  Custom illustrated Christmas card! - This company will make custom drawings of you and your loved one on this card...the prototype also looks like a hipster's dream Christmas card - notice the bearded gentleman smoking a pipe.  :)

Do you send annual Christmas cards?  Or maybe just a holiday text is enough for you? :)

xoxochelsea

Memoirs I Loved

Memoirs are one of my favorite genres to read.  Well-written ones can flow just like a novel, and because the stories are true, it hits that much closer to home.  Here are some of my favorites.  (All images from Goodreads).

The Boy Who Loved Tornadoes - Randi Davenport
This was a memoir about the author's severely developmentally disabled son and her struggle to find a place that would treat him.  Specialists are unsure whether her son Chase's psychosis is a result of schizophrenia or extreme autism, but virtually EVERYONE refuses to treat him.  I found it absolutely heartbreaking, very well researched, and full of insight on the state of our broken mental health system.  I could feel the mother's frustration as doctors struggled to diagnose Chase, and as hospital after hospital turned him down.  This memoir was very affecting and well-written.

January First - Michael Schofield
Another memoir concerning mental illness in a child, I found this to be equal parts fascinating and disturbing.  January, the daughter of the author, is only six years old and has been diagnosed with a severe case of schizophrenia.  The health care system has, once again, failed, and January is virtually unresponsive to every medication she is given, and she is estimated to be hallucinating 95% of the time.  Because she continues to attack her baby brother, her parents have been forced to live in separate apartments to ensure everyone's safety.  It's basically about the struggle Jani's parents go through to help their daughter.  I found this pretty difficult to read and had to take multiple breaks because the story was just so awful and honest...but I will never forget this book, that's for sure.

The Orchard - Theresa Weir
A memoir about living on an apple orchard sounds anything but interesting.  Add in the effects of pesticides on farming and I could fall asleep.  However, I gave this book a chance, and the payoff was awesome.  The author has married into a huge apple orchard-ing family, and she finds herself in unfamiliar territory.  Her life with her husband, mama's boy Adrian (who I HATED), is tumultuous and dangerous, and the memoir is about her struggle to be accepted by his family and risk losing herself in the process.  Surprisingly awesome!

The Unlikely Disciple - Kevin Roose
This author is himself an agnostic, but for the purpose of research, he spent a semester at Liberty University, an extremely conservative Baptist college.  The culture gap between Kevin and the rule-abiding students was enormous, but he decided to join them and see what their lives were like.  Anti-gay comments run rampant at this college, and there are rules that seem crazy - for example, if you are caught kissing another person, you will be kicked out.  This was fascinating to me - a perfect blend of research and humor.  At times I found myself getting angry, specifically during the many class discussions concerning evolution versus creationism.  So good.

Not Without My Daughter - Betty Mahmoody
This memoir was widely criticized for its "stereotypes" of Iran; however, I loved it.  Betty and her husband Moody bring their daughter to Iran for a short stay with Moody's family.  Appalled by the conditions and ways of the culture (especially the way women are treated), Betty wants to go back home, but Moody refuses.  After months pass, he becomes violent and virtually imprisons her and their daughter; they are trapped in a country which, due to Iran laws, they are unable to escape.  I thought this was terrifying, and I couldn't put it down.

By the Iowa Sea - Joe Blair
A poetically written memoir about marriage and fatherhood, this book didn't have much action.  However, the way it was written was absolutely beautiful.  The author's marriage is crumbling, and his four children (one of whom is autistic) are struggling.  It takes a flood to change their lives - literally.  Set in small-town Iowa (which I loved), I found this memoir to be heartbreakingly honest and emotional without being sentimental.  Loved.

The Spark - Kristine Barnett
I'm sensing a theme here.  This was an amazing and inspiring memoir about a mother fighting for her autistic son.  Jake, according to his doctors, has autism so severe that he shouldn't even be able to tie his own shoelaces.  But at the age of 9, he has already taught himself calculus and is attending college.  Jake had been making no progress with the specialists treating him, so his mother took matters into her own hands, pulling him out of special ed and preparing him for kindergarten herself.  This was such an incredible, unbelievable story.

So apparently memoirs involving the mental health system are my favorite!  :)  Get reading!

xoxochelsea

If I Pretend Not to See You in Public, It's Probably Because I'm Wearing Fuggs and a Grandma Sweater

My wardrobe is made up of mostly boots, leggings, oversized sweaters, and a whole crapton of things that I am vaguely embarrassed about owning, but that I wear the shit out of anyway.  Items that, if I am wearing around in the comfort of my own home, make me feel comfortable and super-stylish, but if I run into you while wearing them in public, I might try to hide.  Because I am wearing two of those very items as we speak, I give you:  "Fashion Trends" That I Secretly Love but am Incredibly Embarrassed About.

Stirrup Pants

photo from here

Stirrup pants are a relic from an 80's version of the soccer mom's closet.  I know this.  And yet I wear them anyway.  I got them from Sears for six bucks, and I wear them with Ugg boots and sweatshirts; I wear them with high heeled booties and skirts; I will probably even wear them to Thanksgiving dinner (the waistband is very forgiving).  But people never know I am wearing them; they look like basic leggings.  The downfall is houses in which I am forced to take off my shoes - not wanting people to see the humiliating band around the bottom of my foot, I tend to look around wildly and say, "Umm..I'll just wipe my shoes off really well."  

Also, I'm pretty sure that Lucy Ricardo was a repeat offender of wearing stirrup pants on I Love Lucy, which doesn't add to their street cred at all.  (Actually, who am I trying to kid?  I would love to own Lucy's entire wardrobe.  I would also love to own Desi Arnaz and have him say to me, "Cheeeelseeeea!  Wha hoppen?!"  while I am shoveling chocolates into my mouth or wrangling a huge loaf of bread from the oven or something.  But that's for another blog post.)

A Ridiculous Amount of Clothing Featuring Animals

photo from here

So this is an actual trend right now.  But I think I have gone overboard with it.  I have the following pieces, for example:  a dog sweater, an owl sweater, a fox (wearing glasses...shake my damn head) sweater, a raccoon sweatshirt, a cat sweatshirt, a dog-printed skirt, three different owl t-shirts, a deer long-sleeved tee, and more things with birds on them than you can even imagine.  That is not even including the scads of animal-themed jewelry I have.  Jared calls me a Taylor Swift doppelganger mixed with an 85 year old woman.  I choose to think of this as a compliment.

And last but not least, it's a tie between Leggings as Pants and The Ubiquitous Ugg Boot.

The dreaded double whammy found here, but if Olivia Wilde is wearing it, it can't be so bad, right?  Right?!

My "Ugg" boots are actually faux Uggs (Fuggs?) found at Claire's for twelve dollars.  (You jealous?)  I wear them at some point nearly every day.  I know that these (usually paired with yoga pants) are freaking rampant at every college campus and loved by girls who wear shirts that say Hollister and Abercrombie.  The logical part of me wants to hate them.  But dammit, I love my Fuggs.  They are warm and they are comfortable and they are the perfect thing to slip on over fuzzy socks when it's snowing outside.  If anyone asks, I wear them ironically.

Leggings as pants.  Sigh.  I am a huge hypocrite here, because I get generally a little grossed out when I see a leggings-as-pants offender.  But it's just so easy to do, and so comfortable...camel toe and bubble butt be damned.  And you know what?  I have some long-ass legs, and when I order a sweater specifically to be worn (at a reasonable length) over leggings, and then I receive that sweater and it seems to be made for 5 footers and doesn't even cover the top of my buttcrack?  I am, on principle, going to wear that sweater with leggings anyway.  Also, men seem to enjoy this look (my husband included) which, yuck, but hey, it's something I guess.

xoxochelsea